All posts by will.c.arthur@intel.com

Christmas Reflections

Two weeks ago I was preparing for a monthly men’s group meeting that I lead. I was praying and thinking about what to talk about and thought, since it was Christmas, I ought to talk about that. So I skimmed all four Gospels for their accounts and noticed some interesting things: Mark and John don’t even discuss it at all. Mathew and Luke devote a total of 3 ¼ chapters to Jesus’ birth and early life before He started His ministry. Whereas all four Gospels discuss his years of ministry at great length and his death and resurrection consume 13 chapters.

It seems that our over-emphasis on Christmas is not in alignment with scripture. Why is that? Well, certainly, the story of Jesus’ birth is a much more pleasant one than the story of his horrific death. Of course, it could be argued that the thousands of parents of baby sons that Herod murdered as he tried to snuff out Jesus’ life would disagree, but of course that aspect of Christmas is hardly mentioned. Much better to stick to the more pleasant parts of the story. And of course, Christmas is great for business so the commercial over emphasis can be explained. But even churches tend to over emphasize Christmas. Many have special Christmas programs that are planned for months in advance, but Easter doesn’t get near the same emphasis.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas—such a beautiful, crazy story of God entering this hopeless, helpless world on a divine rescue mission. I mean, an old man and woman who are past child-bearing age having a son, John the Baptist? A virgin giving birth? This the stuff of a severely deluded mind if it’s not in fact true. It’s truly incredible and immensely beautiful! But really, it’s just setting the stage for the final act, the denouement: the sacrifice of God’s lamb for our sin and His resurrection. In fact all of the Bible and all history from the fall of man in Eden leads up to the final act, the culmination of God’s plan to redeem a lost world. The Christmas account in Luke captures this especially well: there’s this sense of tension as the incredible events unfold, and many are pondering the significance of the events. The story is building to a crescendo, which is Easter.
So, we should enjoy Christmas, but keep a right perspective on it.

Then I started thinking: when do more people get saved, at Easter or Christmas? I was saved on Easter, but a sample size of 1 is hardly statistically compelling. I tried to look on the internet for some stats, but couldn’t find any. But God’s word is interesting, I think: although many were impacted, no one was converted at Christmas, but a few were at Jesus’s death and resurrection, and shortly after His resurrection, at Pentecost, the numbers exploded. Jesus’ death and resurrection was the real deal.

My thinking wandered some more: what if Jesus had just come and lived among us and just died? Even ignoring the obvious theological issues of an eternal God dying, this creates all kinds of problems for us. We would have known what God is like, but had no access to Him, no way to be intimately related to Him. As well, if He had come, lived among us, and just been zapped up to heaven, we would still be stuck in our sin, with no way to get out. All the beauty of God’s creation, all the majesty of His character, even Jesus’ life as a man among us would mean nothing to us because we would still be lost.

Without the death and resurrection, history would have been much different. My personal history would be vastly different, might have even been terminated, if not for his sacrifice. And, I believe, the history of the world would have been much different. Christians took down the Roman Empire, Christians fought for the end of slavery, just to name a few. As bad as our world is, how much worse would it be if not for the influence of people whose hearts have been changed by the love and mercy of God?

The central event that changes everything is Jesus’ death and resurrection. Enjoy the Christmas season, by all means, but remember the real reason. “For God so loved the world that He gave us His Son, so that we might have life and have it abundantly”. This act of God was the death sentence to our lust, our greed, our sense of entitlement, our rampant selfishness, our hopelessness, our misery, our anger, our murderous tendencies…the list goes on and on. When Christ died, we died; when He rose, we rose. And we can never thank Him enough.

The Whole Enchilada

Have you ever read a passage of the Bible over and over, but you still don’t get it?  And then one day, it finally makes sense?  I’m reading through the Bible in a year.  This morning I read the passage in Luke 5:33-39.  Jesus is being questioned by the Pharisees as to why his disciples eat and drink while John’s disciples fast and pray.  In response, Jesus tells a parable about patching garments:

“No one tears a piece out of a new garment to patch an old one. Otherwise, they will have torn the new garment, and the patch from the new will not match the old. And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the new wine will burst the skins; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, new wine must be poured into new wineskins. And no one after drinking old wine wants the new, for they say, ‘The old is better.’”

I’ve always struggled with this passage, because Jesus seems to be invalidating John’s ministry and the Old Testament ceremonial law.  And that couldn’t be the case because both of those were put in place by God.

No, Jesus is saying something much different.  His opponents were trying to fit his ministry into their current understanding of God, and Jesus was telling them that they couldn’t do that.  John’s ministry was a precursor to Jesus’ ministry, and likewise the ceremonial law from the Old Testament pointed to a new and better ministry, that of Jesus.  What Jesus was saying in these two analogies about patching clothes and wineskins was, “Hey, you can’t just append me to your current understanding of God and life.  I’m not a patch or something to be added—I am the whole deal, the real deal, the beginning and the end, and these other things just point to me”.  Jesus doesn’t just expand our understanding, he explodes it.

To use a food analogy, have you ever seen those plastic food displays in some restaurants?  It’s like the Pharisees were trying to add Jesus in, like adding some hot sauce or jalapenos on top of a plastic food display.  It might look good, but is completely inedible.  Jesus is saying no, “I’m the real enchilada, the whole enchilada, the one you can eat and find satisfying.  I am the answer to every serious question about life, I am the full representation of God.  These other things were shadows that pointed to me; but I’m the real deal.”

I’m a computer geek, so another analogy:  Jesus is not some add-on that you can click to enhance your internet browser.  He’s the whole browser, the browser of life.  The Old Testament law and John’s ministry were like very early software prototypes or “proof of concepts”.  Jesus in the finished product.  Don’t confuse the prototypes with the final product…throw them away and install the 1.00 (and final) version.

Jesus never allowed his listeners to think or believe less of Him than He was, and ultimately this is what put Him on the cross.  And He will not allow you and I to categorize Him or fit Him into a box that makes us comfortable that we understand God.  He is so much more than that. We must come out of our narrow two dimensional world into His multi-dimensional kingdom that is much bigger, more interesting, and vastly exciting, the world of what God is truly doing, the world of a New Covenant sealed by His blood, freely available to all who will come, the world of new life, abundant and riotously contagious life.  “God loves you and has a great plan for your life” doesn’t even come close to expressing what God has planned for us.

All of us come to God with pre-conceived notions of Him, warped understanding. Perhaps we didn’t have a good relationship with our earthly father and this colors our perception of God.  Many have been hurt by other Christians and run from God.  And we are all just rebellious and want to run our own show, want to elevate our understanding or what makes us comfortable above the truth about God.  Whatever the reason for our flawed understanding, we must replace it with the truth.

Jesus is not an add-on to our life’s browser or a sauce to be added to our religious stew, He the whole deal.

Transitions

 

I’ve been in a long term relationship that, regrettably, has reached a critical point.  There are times in life when we’re faced with hard choices, and for me this is one of those.  I’ve been trying for years to make it work, but the music just isn’t there anymore.

So with much regret, I’m announcing that…

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I’m changing colors from garnet/black to orange/purple, changing mascots from an adrenaline-hopped up chicken to a tiger, and yes, though it’s hard to even say this:   I’m becoming a Clemson fan.

I know, I know, some of you will say:  “What about counseling?  Can’t you guys make it work? You’ve been together so long…”  All I can say, is that I’ve tried and tried—it’s just not working for me anymore.

I’ll say it more directly:  “Cocky, the music’s died, we just don’t have the groove anymore, I’m not feeling the vibe, and it’s never coming back.  You broke my heart one too many times (Kentucky) and the dis-function that occurred last weekend against Georgia, well, I just can’t take it anymore.  You know I love you, babe, but you’ve crushed my heart week after week like Elliot Fry (South Carolina’s field goal kicker) being smashed into the turf by a 320 lb. defensive lineman.  It’s just more than any man can take.”

I’m not sure what will be worse, listening to the anguish of Gamecock fans seeing another one of the faithful bite the dust, or bearing the self-righteous glee of long time Clemson fans.  But bear it, I will.  Alas it is my lot in life, it seems.

Maybe years from now, and many counseling dollars later, I’ll be able to write a book about my experience.  Some possible titles:

  • Death of a Gamecock Fan
  • Passages (From Chicken to Tiger)
  • Farewell to Garnet and Black

I know this is a shock to many of you, and I apologize for that.  I will covet your kind thoughts and support as I make this difficult transition.  Thanks in advance.

And…Go Tigers!!

Choice?

Preface comment:  I wrote this paper over 15 years ago, but it is even more true today.

“Women’s right to choose, ooommmmm. Women’s right to choose, ooommmmm. Women’s right to choose, ooommmmm.”  And on it goes, the mindless mantra of abortion supporters.  Irregardless of factual evidence and logical arguments, the result is always the same:  “We believe in a woman’s right to choose.”  While living in California, I wrote letters opposing abortion to three pro-choice Congressmen, U.S. Senator John Seymour (Rep.) and U.S. Representatives Pete Stark (Dem.) and Tom Campbell (Rep.).  My letters included facts about the developing fetus and women’s health concerns caused by abortions, but these Congressmen never even acknowledged my arguments.  They simply asserted their support for “a woman’s right to choose.”  “Don’t confuse us with the facts, because we believe in a woman’s right to choose, ooommmmm.”  Like an ever trusty shield, it wards off all unwelcome information.

But when does a choice become a compulsion?  Why is it that the main beneficiaries of this choice are the boyfriends and husbands who escape all responsibility and most of the negative consequences of their actions?  Why doesn’t free choice include full access to information about the various risks associated with abortion?  Why do the women themselves suffer such grievous physical and psychological consequences from exercising their freedom of choice?

In his book, Aborted Women Silent No More, David Reardon has compiled the heartbreaking stories of women who have experienced abortion.  For these women, abortion is not an abstract right or political concept, but rather a starkly realistic experience.  Their stories are those of women who have been to abortion hell and back, and survived to tell about it.

In the words of Lorijo Nerad:

When our caseworker found out that I was pregnant with a third child, she was just disgusted with us.  She couldn’t believe that we had been so ‘irresponsible.’  She urged us to have an abortion, saying ‘You just can’t go around having babies all the rest of your life.’  After making us feel like dirt, she reassured us that Medicaid would pay for the abortion and that we could always have children later.

From that point on, there was pressure from everyone around me to have an abortion….Confusion mounted, tension and pressure took control, and I became another victim of ‘free choice.’ (Reardon 274)

Carol St. Amour was living with her boyfriend when she became pregnant:

….I was very satisfied, nearly ecstatic about our baby..        .           .

Jim however didn’t feel that way.  At first he was very quiet about it and didn’t speak to me for over a week.  When I pressed him about it, he stated that he did not want me to have the baby; and that if I did, he’d leave me.  I was crushed…but this was his child, too.

.           .           .

So I weighed the costs, and wanting very much to please him, plus being fearful of his leaving me, I made an appointment…

.           .           .

I wasn’t impressed by any of the people working there—there was no compassion or counseling, just an attitude of ‘let’s get it over with; there are many patients to deal with.’  I was instructed to get up on a table, put my legs in the stirrups, and relax (easy for them to say).

.           .           .

…the machine started.  The noise was unforgettable—I can still hear it, even now.  I grabbed at my chest and closed my eyes and started praying.  Then I felt this gripping pain—it hurt so bad that I cried out.  The doctor told me to ‘shut up’ because there were ‘other girls’ and the ‘walls were thin.’…This depression worsened as several weeks went by.  Jim’s compassions and concern began turning into anger, as I started lashing out at him—‘I want my baby back!’

.           .           .

…To me it was a baby, my baby.  To Jim it was a products-of-conception blob, a problem…. (Reardon 78 – 79)

Carol married her boyfriend, Jim, but their marriage ended in a bitter physical struggle.  She admits that she neglected her children and progressively abused drugs, eventually  including heroin.  The turning point of her life was a religious conversion, after which she became involved in pro-life organizations.  But the scars of her abortion experiences are still with her:

I was informed that I had cervical cancer.

.           .           .

Their suspicions are that the psychological aftereffects, such as I suffered from abortion, have triggered this cancer growth….The radiation treatments left me hopelessly sterile for life….I am thirty one years old and experiencing mid-life crisis.  My strong desire to have another baby is heartbreaking….As a feminist–and former ‘pro-choicer’—I believe that the feminists have gone too far in supporting legal abortion.  I know that my body is not my own when I am pregnant.  That baby is its own person.

Where was the feminists’ protection of my rights at the doctor’s office and at the abortion clinic?  No feminist was encouraging my male chauvinist pig boyfriend to take a walk.  None of my feminist friends offered to really help me.  No, they rallied to his side….Today I had to go see my oncologist (cancer specialist) because the radiologist found another ‘spot’ on my cervix….[While waiting in the examining room] [t]o my shock and complete loss of control I saw, two feet from my left foot, a suction aspirator machine!  I freaked out.  I had a total flashback of the abortion experience.  I began crying uncontrollably, got up, dressed, and ran into the hall hyperventilating….[The nurse] understood, and tried comforting me, reassuring me that their office did not do abortions…[and] took the  machine out of the room.  I returned shaken and surprised at my lack of self-control.  I wonder…will it ever end?  (Reardon 80 – 81)

These stories are very typical; abortion is a “choice” that is in great measure forced upon young women by those unwilling to help in any other way.  The results of  one of the most comprehensive surveys ever done of aborted women show that “over 84 percent said that they would have been very willing to keep the child ‘under better circumstances’ ” (Reardon 12).  “[M]ore than 83 % would have chosen against abortion” (Reardon 11) if their husbands, boyfriends, abortion counselors, friends, parents, or others had encouraged them differently.

Women who choose abortion are responsible for their choice, as the women in Reardon’s book freely admit, but equally so are those who encourage them down this path. “[I]t appears that, far from freedom of choice, women facing termination feel they have no choice at all—no real choice” (Kennedy 35 – 36).  In the words of Jerri “Porter” who was talked into an abortion by her boyfriend and Planned Parenthood over her own desire to keep the baby:  “At the age of eighteen, the law says one is an adult.  But emotionally, many eighteen-year-olds are not strong enough on the inside to stand up for what they really want” (Reardon 280).

We used to care for pregnant women.  Now we just send them in for surgery, and leave them by themselves to pick up the broken pieces of their lives afterwards.  Several women in Reardon’s book reported the feeling that they themselves were being aborted, not just their baby.  Their post abortion experiences certainly reflect the incredibly distressing effects of exercising their choice.

Women considering abortion are typically told that this procedure is safe and simple, but statistical information indicates otherwise.  Because of various legal factors, “information about abortion complications is generally obstructed in the United States, [but] this is not always the case in other countries” (Reardon 103).

According to one Japanese study [of legal abortion], women undergoing abortions experienced the following complications:  9 percent were subsequently sterile; 14 percent suffered from recurring miscarriages; 17 percent experienced menstrual irregularities; 20-30 percent reported abdominal pain, dizziness, headaches, etc.;  and there was a 400 percent increase in ectopic pregnancies.  (Reardon 104)

The records at one hospital in Great Britain

…revealed a 27 percent infection rate among aborted patients; 9.5 percent hemorrhaged enough to require blood transfusion; 5 percent of early vacuum and D&C abortions tore the cervical muscle; and 1.5 percent perforated the uterus….the author of this study made special note that: ‘It is significant that some of the more serious complications occurred with the most senior and experienced operators.  This emphasizes that termination of pregnancy is neither as simple nor as safe as some advocates of abortion-on-demand would have the public believe.” (qtd. in Reardon 104)

The experiences of aborted women described in Reardon’s book are compelling.  But in fairness it must be admitted that there are many women who have had abortions and claim to feel good about the decision.  In the book, Choices We Made, many famous women including Whoopi Goldberg, Ursula LeGuin, Linda Ellerbee, Margot Kidder, and  Anne Archer describe their abortions, legal and illegal, and affirm their support of a woman’s right to choose.  However, their ambivalence about abortion is striking.  For instance, Linda Ellerbee writes: “No woman comes away clean from an abortion, even if you come away clean physically.  I’ve said over and over again that I am not for abortion, that no one is for abortion.  I am for a woman’s right and a man’s right—I’m for your right to make your own hard choices in this world” (Bonavoglia 86).  The theme of “hard choices” runs throughout the book.

These pro-choice women are honest up to a point.  Many of them admit that abortion is probably murder, but quickly justify it by stating that they were not ready for children and that it would be wrong to bring unwanted children into the world.  Practically no mention is made of adoption as an alternative.  Margot Kidder describes horrible nightmares and grief after her abortion and then writes:

I knew that having that baby would have been wrong for the baby, and that you don’t do that to children.

Abortion might be killing a life; I don’t know.  That to me is not an issue.  If there is a sin, it is the sin that we adults perpetrate on the children of the earth who are truly innocent and defenseless by bringing those children into the world when they will not be cared for. (Bonavoglia 99)

But why stop there?  The logical extension of this argument includes killing babies after birth, adults, and the elderly if they, too, are not being properly cared for.  Would that not be equally merciful?  As pro-life feminist, Breda O’Brien, writes:

[In the case of abortion] [w]e are expected to apply none of the moral criteria normally applicable when a person consciously kills another…because it is the woman organising [sic] the killing of the foetus [sic] in her womb.  Imagine, if she were speaking of a six-month-old baby, and elderly mother, or her partner….All of those actions would be found morally reprehensible, but not [her] decision, because it is her ‘right to choose.’  (Kennedy 34)

In my opinion, the narratives in Choices We Made lack emotional depth and conviction compared to the accounts in Aborted Women Silent No More.  This is especially surprising considering the literary, dramatic, and journalistic talents represented by the pro-choice women.  As I stated before, the pro-choice women of Bonavoglia’s book are honest, but only up to a point; they sound like women defending the indefensible.  They approach the horrible reality of abortion at times, but immediately rationalize it away.  The women in Reardon’s book, however, have nothing to hide.  They have confronted the darkest and most painful secrets of their lives and have reconciled with themselves and their community.  Their stories are resolutely honest and straightforward, the stories of descent into emotional and psychological darkness and of renewal, usually accompanied by a religious conversion.  In short, they ring true.

Another point of comparison is that many of the women in Reardon’s book were once pro-choice or even pro-abortion activists, but have now become adamantly pro-life.  However, none of the women in Bonavoglia’s book were pro-life activists who are now pro-choice.  In fact, I have never heard of a pro-life activist converting to pro-choice; there may be a few exceptions to this, but the exodus is primarily one way.  If the pro-choice position were equally valid or even superior to the pro-life position, wouldn’t we expect to hear of people who were adamantly pro-life changing their position to pro-choice?  But that is exactly what isn’t happening.  The pro-life movement is swelling with the ranks of aborted women, many of whom were pro-choice activists.

So why is it that many women still vehemently defend their right to choose while acknowledging their ambivalence about abortion and even their lack of emotional peace about their abortion experiences?  My theory is that women who have had abortions, but still defend their freedom of choice, are not as far along the road of recovery as those in Reardon’s book.  They are still denying what every pregnant woman instinctively knows:  that a separate and equally valuable life is developing within her, that to abort that life is to kill a child, and that this is wrong in all but the most desperate and life-threatening circumstances.  In Bonavoglia’s book written in 1992, Norma McCorvey, the original Jane Roe of Roe vs. Wade, wrote her defense of a woman’s right to choose.  In 1995, Jane McCorvey rejected her pro-choice stance, relinquishing her position as pro-choice icon (Associated Press 1).  One day while at an empty playground, she began to wonder “where are all the children.”  She became filled with an overwhelming sense of grief, experienced a religious conversion, and immediately gave up her position with a Dallas abortion clinic.  Afterwards, she worked for Operation Rescue, a pro-life organization, and now runs her own pro-life organization.  I have to wonder: have any other women in Bonavoglia’s book also repudiated their pro-choice stance?

Women like McCorvey and the women of Reardon’s book represent the most potent opposition to abortion.  By encouraging so many women to abort and by resisting any and all restrictions on abortion, the pro-choice movement is sowing the seeds of its own destruction.   The women who have first hand experiences of this “choice” are rising up in mass against abortion on demand.  Monica Harshbarger says,

[o]ften,  after telling my story to a group, I will have a woman come up to me with tears in her eyes, thanking me for having the courage to tell what she has been unable to tell.  They are my sisters.  And you watch us; pretty soon that fear and doubt will turn into strength and determination, and we will put an end to this degradation. (Reardon 159)

Works Cited

Associated Press.  The Face Behind Roe:  Norma McCorvey.  22 January 1998.  <http://www.usatoday.com/news/index/abort/abort006.htm> (1 April 1998)

Bonavoglia, Angela.  The Choices We Made.  New York:  Random House, 1991.

Kennedy, Angela.  Swimming Against The Tide Feminist Dissent On The Issue of Abortion.  Dublin:  Colour Books Ltd., 1997.

Reardon, David C.  Aborted Women Silent No More.  Chicago:  Loyola University Press, 1987.

Planned Parenthood

Recently, I encountered two arguments in favor of Planned Parenthood funding: that only 3% of their services (as reported by PP itself) are abortions, and that abortion is legal. These softballs are commonly used in this debate, and the rebuttal is pretty simple:

Numbers can be deceptive; admittedly, 3% doesn’t sound bad. But the Guttmacher Institute, a research arm of Planned Parenthood, estimates the total abortions from Roe v. Wade through 2011 at 57,496,011 (even with known under-reporting—CA and NH haven’t been counted since 1998). And Planned Parenthood is estimated to have performed one fourth of those abortions. That 3% equals between 14 and 15 million deaths. The numbers speak for themselves.

Also regarding legality, history is full of examples of “legal” atrocities: slavery in the U.S., discrimination against blacks in the post slavery era, extermination of Jews in WWII, persecution of Christians in ancient Rome, repression of women in Muslim countries, to name just a few.

Please don’t argue legality or statistics. The question that should be argued is this: is abortion right, period, regardless of the numbers?

Consider an example: your local Humane Society provides many good services. Suppose they also tortured 0.1% of their animals to death for research purposes, and suppose it was legal. The outcry would be justifiable and extreme.

Do we not care at least as much for babies as we do for animals?

As to the other services provided by PP, crisis pregnancy centers also provide many of those services without any government funding. They are underfunded and often manned by volunteers.

Solution? Fund crisis pregnancy centers and defund any organizations performing abortions.

Under The Knife

Tuesday at 1PM, I go “under the knife” for back surgery.

This makes me think of past times I’ve gone under the knife, spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

My 20s were by all worldly, normal standards a wasteland of depression and failure.  With the best of intentions, God broke my heart over and over again during those years.  If you asked me would I ever choose to go through that again, my first answer would be an emphatic “NO!!!”.  But if you asked me if I would choose comfort and pleasure over the character changes God did in my life through that dismal period, my answer would be an even stronger, but perhaps more softly spoken, “no”.  God loves me, and I know it well.

“God works all things for good for those who believe” is not just a catchphrase in my life.  I’ve lived it over and over again.  And, whatever the outcome of next week’s surgery, good or bad, I will live it again.  The prognosis is very good, the surgery is one of the easiest and most successful lumbar spine surgeries, and the surgeon has an excellent reputation.  But as we all know, God ultimately controls all outcomes.  All our skill, training, and expertise amounts to nothing if God isn’t in it or if He desires a different outcome.

I trust Him;  He will do great things.

The Beatles

Okay, I confess, I never liked them, and I still don’t.  I know that’s heretical in music lover circles.  “You don’t like the Beatles!!”  I’ve been to song writing seminars and people just stare at me aghast when I state my viewpoint.  Sorry, it is what it is.  I mean some of John Lennon’s lyrics are pretty cool.  But Paul McCartney, I don’t get.  Take for example, the song “Band On The Run”.   What does it mean??  “A bell was ringing in the village square for the rabbits on the run”.  Huh??  What the hell does that mean???  Does it mean anything?  Does anyone care?

And even though I like some of their lyrics, especially Lennon’s, there’s something below the surface, a thread of arrogance that runs through their music.  It seems to say:  “We are the Beatles, and we are it”.  And that totally turns me off.  I know professional musicians must have a certain amount of ego, but the Beatles turned it up a notch.  Or maybe it’s just a British attitude that’s alien to my American mind.  I don’t know, but I just really don’t like them.

Maybe it’s more to do with me than the Beatles.  I’ve always been a bit of a renegade.  When the whole world’s heading one direction, I’m stealthily sliding off somewhere else.  It’s been a lifelong desire to be different, or maybe to just be myself, except that that usually means being different from the crowd.  I truly don’t care what the crowd thinks, and for the most part, I think that’s good.  Sometimes not so much, I must admit.

So, time to come out of the closet…any other Beatle haters out there?

My First Blog

I am many things:

  • A saint, a sinner
  • A devoted husband madly in love with his wife; an, all too often, difficult person for that same wife to live with
  • A committed father, a father who’s failed in many ways
  • An engineer who’s been on the front row of this high tech revolution for the past 40 years, and often a technology skeptic and laggard
  • A success and a failure.

And if it hasn’t already come through clearly, I am honest.

Most of all, I am redeemed.  God is working something wonderful in my life even though I often screw it up and resist him.

This blog will be my thoughts about life in its successes and failures with God weaving His will through it.  This will be me honestly telling the truth to the best of my ability.

Stay tuned.