Tuesday at 1PM, I go “under the knife” for back surgery.
This makes me think of past times I’ve gone under the knife, spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
My 20s were by all worldly, normal standards a wasteland of depression and failure. With the best of intentions, God broke my heart over and over again during those years. If you asked me would I ever choose to go through that again, my first answer would be an emphatic “NO!!!”. But if you asked me if I would choose comfort and pleasure over the character changes God did in my life through that dismal period, my answer would be an even stronger, but perhaps more softly spoken, “no”. God loves me, and I know it well.
“God works all things for good for those who believe” is not just a catchphrase in my life. I’ve lived it over and over again. And, whatever the outcome of next week’s surgery, good or bad, I will live it again. The prognosis is very good, the surgery is one of the easiest and most successful lumbar spine surgeries, and the surgeon has an excellent reputation. But as we all know, God ultimately controls all outcomes. All our skill, training, and expertise amounts to nothing if God isn’t in it or if He desires a different outcome.
I trust Him; He will do great things.
Okay, I confess, I never liked them, and I still don’t. I know that’s heretical in music lover circles. “You don’t like the Beatles!!” I’ve been to song writing seminars and people just stare at me aghast when I state my viewpoint. Sorry, it is what it is. I mean some of John Lennon’s lyrics are pretty cool. But Paul McCartney, I don’t get. Take for example, the song “Band On The Run”. What does it mean?? “A bell was ringing in the village square for the rabbits on the run”. Huh?? What the hell does that mean??? Does it mean anything? Does anyone care?
And even though I like some of their lyrics, especially Lennon’s, there’s something below the surface, a thread of arrogance that runs through their music. It seems to say: “We are the Beatles, and we are it”. And that totally turns me off. I know professional musicians must have a certain amount of ego, but the Beatles turned it up a notch. Or maybe it’s just a British attitude that’s alien to my American mind. I don’t know, but I just really don’t like them.
Maybe it’s more to do with me than the Beatles. I’ve always been a bit of a renegade. When the whole world’s heading one direction, I’m stealthily sliding off somewhere else. It’s been a lifelong desire to be different, or maybe to just be myself, except that that usually means being different from the crowd. I truly don’t care what the crowd thinks, and for the most part, I think that’s good. Sometimes not so much, I must admit.
So, time to come out of the closet…any other Beatle haters out there?
I am many things:
- A saint, a sinner
- A devoted husband madly in love with his wife; an, all too often, difficult person for that same wife to live with
- A committed father, a father who’s failed in many ways
- An engineer who’s been on the front row of this high tech revolution for the past 40 years, and often a technology skeptic and laggard
- A success and a failure.
And if it hasn’t already come through clearly, I am honest.
Most of all, I am redeemed. God is working something wonderful in my life even though I often screw it up and resist him.
This blog will be my thoughts about life in its successes and failures with God weaving His will through it. This will be me honestly telling the truth to the best of my ability.