I’ve been in a long term relationship that, regrettably, has reached a critical point. There are times in life when we’re faced with hard choices, and for me this is one of those. I’ve been trying for years to make it work, but the music just isn’t there anymore.
So with much regret, I’m announcing that…
I’m changing colors from garnet/black to orange/purple, changing mascots from an adrenaline-hopped up chicken to a tiger, and yes, though it’s hard to even say this: I’m becoming a Clemson fan.
I know, I know, some of you will say: “What about counseling? Can’t you guys make it work? You’ve been together so long…” All I can say, is that I’ve tried and tried—it’s just not working for me anymore.
I’ll say it more directly: “Cocky, the music’s died, we just don’t have the groove anymore, I’m not feeling the vibe, and it’s never coming back. You broke my heart one too many times (Kentucky) and the dis-function that occurred last weekend against Georgia, well, I just can’t take it anymore. You know I love you, babe, but you’ve crushed my heart week after week like Elliot Fry (South Carolina’s field goal kicker) being smashed into the turf by a 320 lb. defensive lineman. It’s just more than any man can take.”
I’m not sure what will be worse, listening to the anguish of Gamecock fans seeing another one of the faithful bite the dust, or bearing the self-righteous glee of long time Clemson fans. But bear it, I will. Alas it is my lot in life, it seems.
Maybe years from now, and many counseling dollars later, I’ll be able to write a book about my experience. Some possible titles:
- Death of a Gamecock Fan
- Passages (From Chicken to Tiger)
- Farewell to Garnet and Black
I know this is a shock to many of you, and I apologize for that. I will covet your kind thoughts and support as I make this difficult transition. Thanks in advance.